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The false narrative of gay vs. Christian.

Kimberley Laskowski.

I am still reeling from the fact that there are so-called Christians here in my new homeland who are preaching the false gospel that if you are Christian, you cannot be gay and if you are gay, you are not a Christian.

The reason this is astonishing to me is that I honestly thought I had landed on the golden shores of progressive reason and quiet faith. But seeing the pervasiveness of conservative theology, it is no wonder that so many people have rejected religion all together.

What is even more surprising to me is the flickering of a little pride in my own theological heritage where the existence of diverse theological frameworks is thriving, although often painfully divisive.

Yes, millions of Americans believe that “protection of religious freedom” gives them  the right to discriminate against LGBT citizens based on one interpretation of one subset of one religion’s understanding of a few words of scripture. Some folks actually believe deep in their hearts that God will punish them if they do anything at all that cold appear to approve of what they sincerely believe is punishable by an eternity of hell-fire suffering.

I feel really sad for them because these people are genuinely afraid of God and that is contrary to everything I understand the Gospel of Jesus be about.

The good news is, it is simply is not true that ALL Christians are busy hand lettering their prized “no gays allowed” signs, not even close. In fact, there are millions of Christians who support marriage equality and who fully affirm the beautifully diverse lives and loves of queer folks like me.

Also, real and true is the fact that there are queer folks like me who ARE Christian. Together, today and tomorrow, we will continue to work and pray for the light of God to illuminate a path forward in faith where we truly believe that nothing, nothing, nothing can separate us from the love of God. (Romans 8:31-39)

Please remember that the media often wants to keep citizens misinformed and stridently afraid of one another. They do so by spotlighting the negative actions of a handful of people and quietly ignoring the loving, affirming faith of many more Christians. Whether in America or The Netherlands, the media profits off of people by writing about people who hide their ignorance behind scripture. It is not nearly as profitable to write headlines like “Christians who love everyone, just like Jesus.”

What I want you to know and trust is that there are good people, loving people, cultural Christians or out-right Jesus freaks like me, who are living examples of God’s radical hospitality.

We come in all shapes and sizes – individuals, prayer partners, Sunday School classes, campus ministries, congregations and whole denominations that affirm that each individual is a child of God, recognizing “that we are called to be like one body with many members, seeking with others of every race, ethnicity, creed, class, age, gender, marital status, physical or mental ability, sexual orientation, gender identity and gender expression to journey together toward the promised realm of God.” – (from the Open and Affirming statement of Old South Church, United Church of Christ, Boston, MA)

We come from neighborhoods, towns, cities and regions all over this country, and yes, even the deep south of America. 

And thankfully there are Christians who are called to share this good news with other Christians. And there are Christians who are open to learning with grace and compassion, even if they are still uncomfortable, still unsure how the Spirit is moving us all closer to the Beloved Community.

You are here on Wijdekerk so you have certainly found a group of faithful Christians are who are sharing this Gospel. Thanks be to God for Wijdekerk!

What I invite you to do is to look around for Christians in your life (or be the Christian in someone else’s life), who lift up voices of faithful affirmation of our LGBT sisters and brothers.  Let US ALL be the hands and feet of Christ in a world weary under the weight of fear and loathing.  Let US be the people’s microphone and magnify the Love of God that might not sell advertising, but just might save a life.

I also want to share a treasure trove of Christian resources that fully affirm, and work for the full inclusion of, LGBT people. Everyone is welcome to share your own LGBT affirming faith resources in the comments below.

Association of Welcoming and Affirming Baptists Members of the Association of Welcoming & Affirming Baptists (AWAB) are churches, organizations, and individuals who are willing to go on record as welcoming and affirming all persons without regard to sexual orientation or gender identity, and who have joined together to advocate for the full inclusion of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender persons within Baptist communities of faith.

Believe Out Loud is about helping churches live out this Christian principle by becoming fully inclusive of all people, regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity.

Brethren/Mennonite Council for LGBT Interests The mission of BMC is to cultivate an inclusive church and society and to care for the Mennonite and Brethren lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and allied community.

Catholic – DignityUSA works for respect and justice for all gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender persons in the Catholic Church and the world through education, advocacy and support.

Disciples of Christ – The Gay, Lesbian and Affirming Disciples Alliance is a presence working for the full dignity and integrity of gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender and affirming people within the Christian Church (Disciples of Christ).

Episcopalian – Integrity USA Since 1974, Integrity has been a faithful witness of God’s inclusive love to the Episcopal Church and the lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender community. We are working for the full inclusion of all the baptized in all the sacraments. Lutherans Concerned/North America works for the full inclusion of lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender Lutherans in all aspects of the life of their Church and congregations. They provide a place of comfort and safety. They reach out and teach that Christ’s message, the Gospel, is for everyone equally. They call for the blessing of committed and covenanted same-gender relationships, and for the ordination of those called to minister.

PC(USA) More Light Presbyterians a network of people seeking the full participation of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people of faith in the life, ministry and witness of the Presbyterian Church (USA)

United Church of Christ  Open & Affirming (ONA) Program ONA is “shorthand” for Open and Affirming, the designation for congregations, campus ministries, and other bodies in the United Church of Christ which make public statements of welcome into their full life and ministry to persons of all sexual orientations and gender identities.

United Methodist Reconciling Ministries Network mobilizes United Methodists of all sexual orientations and gender identities to transform our Church and world into the full expression of Christ’s inclusive love.

That All May Freely Serve advocates for an inclusive church for all who are disenfranchised: A church that honors diversity and welcomes lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender persons as full members. Full membership includes eligibility for ordination to the offices of elder, deacon, and Minister of Word and Sacrament.

The Institute for Welcoming Resources at the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force is a networking hub for movement leaders and a source of downloadable toolkits and curriculum for your church.


Kimberly is the gathering pastor a small, creative and compassionate congregation called Sojourners’ Fellowship that meets the first and third Sundays each month at Vrijplaats in Leiden. Kimberly was raised in the American South and steeped in the conservative Christian culture of that region. She was baptized, full submersion, at around 13 at Confederate Avenue Baptist Church in downtown Atlanta. She has an undergraduate degree in religious studies with a focus on Eastern religion. In 2017 she and her wife Betsy moved to The Netherlands.

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